Entry 58, January 21st, 2012
I've been lost twice today and it's only lunchtime. The signs do not work nearly as well in reverse. It's okay, though, I have dad's luck in wandering. I think I found the old camino at one point . . . I was following markers, but the road was only ruts and they were all covered in vines. I don't remember crossing the mountain that way, either.
The ancient old lady running this bar is looking at me like I'm crazy. Which I suppose I am. I am the only customer.
I probably look more like Arno right now that I do like normal people. He spoke about his relationship with the city . . . when he was in silence for six months, he would come by the church to get fresh water from a spigot. No begging or anything, but even then the people coming out of mass would not make eye contact with him. “What were they talking about in there?” wonders Arno. Sometimes the priest comes by Arno's chapel, driving his BMW . . . the thing reads like something out of a Sunday school textbook.
Alright. Time to go.
I met another American! His name is Simon, he's from NYC, and he walked from Sarria. He's 32 and lives very fast – lots of traveling. He is trying to do Lisbon and Madrid in the two days after Finisterra . . . I don't know if he will need an extra day or not, he has a double layer blister just like the Spanish guy that the Master told to go to a hospial.
Got lost a third time, this time for six or seven kilometers. Pressed on, found the camino. It was a long day. The marker says 67km from Finisterra . . . pretty good for two days' work.
When Simon asked about the camino to Finisterra at the pilgrim office in Santiago, the man was insulted. “That's a pagan route; we don't have any information on that here!” How 12th century of him . . . fascinating, especially since the pagan routes predate the death of St. James.
Today's realization – I cannot make anyone happy. I do not know what would make them happy, and I do not have the power to realize it. So, I release myself from the obligation to make myself happy as well, because emotions are like the weather.
Instead, I assume two new obligations. First, to love everyone instead of trying to make them happy. Simple, but not easy. Second, to live in harmony with myself, instead of trying to be happy. Again, simple, but not easy.
I am accumulating bug bites all over my body. I worry that my sleeping bag is infested. Also, my left big toe is a little swollen and numb on one side. My right ankle wore through the sock today and began rubbing. I am starting to wear out – time for a rest soon.
Expenses, Day 58
Dinner Provision: 8.00
Albergue (Negreira): 5.00
Trip Total: 1308.76
Also important: the best way I can love others is to know myself, so that I can be truthful and genuine with them. Or at least that would be a good start.