Entry 54, May 1st, 4:13am (ship time GMT -2)
Musical frustration.
I won't go into it right now. Suffice it to say that I've put in my own work for the day. I've spent my time in the shed. I've gotten a little better at my own instrument, and a little more knowledgeable in my own music. That's what is really important in the long run.
Gah.
Entry 53, April 29th, 2011, 5:52pm (ship time GMT -3)
Course: ENE, Speed: 20 knots
Moderate Wind from E, Light Swell from E, partly cloudy
Today marks the first full day of the transatlantic portion of our voyage. The crossing will be six days at sea in a row, and we move the clocks forward an hour each night at 2am. This means that the crew will be sleep deprived for the entire voyage).
I was not wrong about the British guests – I'm sure they're all lovely people, but consider this statistic: normally after each voyage in the Caribbean the ship would come away with about a page and a half of official complaints – not bad (that's actually pretty damn good – we were consistently pulling satisfaction ratings of 295 out of 300 when sailing out of Panama). Now, after two days of sailing, we have six pages of complaints. This is from a ship that is less than half full! I doubt that our hotel staff have suddenly forgotten how to do their jobs – the European guests are just more demanding (our target rating in the Mediterranean has been moved from 280 to 240 by the Miami office).
Entry 52, April 28th, 2011, 4:35pm (ship time GMT -4)
Dockside, Bridgetown, Barbados
I can already tell that our British guests are going to be lovely bundles of joy.
We got our first real batch of Brits today, on a pair of 747s from across the pond. I am gathering the distinct impression that if a Brit is not distinctly miserable at least once a day while on holiday, they will consider it an abject failure. Some of them are getting an earlier start than others . . . I heard one man in particular complaining bitterly to Rico (the cruise director, my boss's boss) that he had been told there was a problem with his ID card when there wasn't one and had been forced, forced! to walk all the way back to the gangway from his cabin two decks above for no reason. Personally, I think that we'd be doing this particular fellow a favor if we had him up and down the stairs a few more times . . .
Later
I have officially said goodbye to North America. If all goes according to plan, I won't set foot on American soil again until October. October! And I'm about to add another continent to my travels, bringing the total to 4 (well, five, if you count our landing in Tenerife as Africa, but I don't think that really counts).
The Atlantic swell is strong. The waves look like they are carved out of granite, almost as if the Atlantic water is heavier somehow. We've been bow onto the swell ever since leaving the lee side of Barbados, so the Lady G isn't rolling much, but we're pitching quite noticeably (even amidships you can feel it). There was one wave that I heard hit the bow particularly hard – it sounded like we smashed through a cinder block wall.
Here's an interesting story: another ship in the Grandeur's class was modified a couple years back by RCCL. They cut the ship in half and added a hundred-odd feet of hull, expanding it from six fire zones to seven. I was talking a few nights ago with an officer about whether or not they would ever do that to this ship, and he said that apparently the Grandeur was supposed to be the first to get this modification, but right as they were about to start cutting another ship had a major breakdown and RCCL needed the drydock space. That's why it has been so long since we've been in drydock.
Barbados was nice, although it looks like times are tough. There were some classic signs – broken fountains, unrepaired fire damage . . . but the beach was amazing. Coral beaches are the best, the sand feels like velvet under your feet. Or nougat. Or something.
Entry 51, April 27th, 2011, 4:42 pm (ship time GMT -4)
Course: E, Speed: 16 knots
Light wind and swell from the E, intermittent showers
Today's post: Fingers Pointing at the Moon
I'm continuing my comparative analysis of “The Purpose Driven Life,” (and perhaps, by extension, Christianity itself). It continues to be logically inconsistent, but that's not really the point – it wouldn't be belief if it was provable. We knew this going in.
Today's chapter is titled, “The Heart of Worship.” Warren asserts that the heart of worship is surrender, or giving one's self to God's plan completely. This involves abandoning all personal desires, goals, and hopes – yielding total control to God. To quote Paul (from Romans, I think?):
“So then, my friends, because of God's great mercy to us . . . offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to his service and pleasing to him. This is the true worship that you should offer.”
I'm reminded of something Dostoyevsky wrote near the beginning of “The Brothers Karamazov,” talking about Alyosha's decision to study at the monastery. I don't have the book here to quote it exactly, but essentially he says that while most young men are willing to march off to war and die for nothing, they are afraid to spend several years in dedicated study and service to something (like Alyosha does by joining the church). Living for God is much greater form of worship in my mind than dying for him.
Pastor Warren continues, showing several proofs of God's love for us (all biblical quotations, and so totally irrelevant from a factual point of view) before discussing the effects of surrender. He says:
“You know you've surrendered to God when you rely on God to work things out instead of trying to manipulate others, force your agenda, and control the situation. You let go and let God work. You don't have to always be “in charge.” . . . in stead of trying harder, you trust more.”
Compare Warren's passage to this:
tao te ching, ch. 10
“Giving birth and nourishing,
having without possessing,
acting with no expectations,
leading and not trying to control;
this is the supreme virtue.”
or this:
ch. 74
“Trying to control the future
is like trying to take the master carpenter's place.
When you handle the master carpenter's tools,
chances are that you'll cut yourself.”
I doubt that Lao Tzu is trying to say that there necessarily IS a master carpenter, but the point is the same. This next example may be the clearest:
ch. 40
“Return is the movement of the Tao.
Yielding is the way of the Tao.
All things are born of being.
Being is born of not being.”
I think it's pretty clear that “surrender” is a concept that both Lao Tzu and Pastor Warren understand and value. The difference is in what they surrender to; Warren, to a loving, caring, conscious and glorious God, and Lao Tzu to . . . well, something. The Tao, yes, but he goes to great lengths to say (at the very beginning of the tao te ching) that by calling it the tao, it is not the tao, and that by its very nature it cannot be named.
Here is an interesting passage:
tao te ching, ch. 30
“The Master . . . understands that the universe
is forever out of control,
and that trying to dominate events
goes against the current of the Tao.
Because he believes in himself,
he doesn't try to convince others.
Because he is content with himself,
he doesn't need others' approval.
Because he accepts himself,
the whole world accepts him.”
Compare this to the dedication of “The Purpose Driven Life.”
“This book is dedicated to you. Before you were born, God planned this moment in your life. It is no accident that you are holding this book. God longs for you to discover the life he created you to live – here on Earth, and forever in eternity.”
This is followed by a page with a pledge where you commit the next forty days of your life to discovering God's plan (complete with signature line).
Now, maybe I'm just projecting my own preconceptions here, but it seems like Pastor Warren is trying pretty hard to convince me that his path is correct. In fact, Christianity as a whole has traditionally involved trying to convince people to join the church and be saved (“evangelism,” anyone?). This has never made any sense to me, because it seems to me that if there is any one sure way to keep someone from doing something it is to tell them to do it.
Perhaps Lao Tzu's insight can clarify the situation. He says, “Because he believes in himself, he doesn't try to convince others.” Maybe the church as a whole still contains some seed of doubt at its very core? That would certainly explain the drive to collect followers over the past two thousand-odd years.
Also, consider this. “Because he accepts himself, the world accepts him.” Perhaps this applies to the church as well? Christianity has certainly met with vigorous rejection here and there, most notably from the Islamic world but also from atheists throughout history and a growing segment of the population here in the United States. Could the concept of original sin keep Christians from accepting themselves, and consequently keep the world from accepting them? I will have to think about that.
One thing is certain. IF there is a universal truth, and the two different tellings of that truth that I am studying differ in their accounts of it, it logically follows that at least one of them must be wrong. I suspect that they are both incomplete, actually, and I am beginning to doubt that even all humanity's stories combined could tell the universal truth. As a zen master once told a student, “My teachings are merely a finger pointing at the moon. Don't look at the finger!”
If that's true, and all religions and philosophies are really just fingers pointing at the moon, then that means one cannot look up wisdom. Good to know, I suppose . . . this wisdom stuff is slippery business. I guess my question now becomes: if I can't look it up, where do I find it?
Entry 50, April 26th, 2011, 3:04pm (ship time GMT -4)
Cafe De Buren, Willemstaad, Curacao
Moderate Wind from the SE
The excitement of preparing for the Atlantic crossing is beginning to ease into routine and monotony. In Panama there was an air of hushed expectation, similar to the way on feels just before starting on a long car trip. Now, though, we're getting into the routine of travel. Porting in Curacao today feels like we haven't started on anything new at all, as we've been stopping here for the past several months already. I'm looking forward to Barbados, though – never been there before.
And I looked it up yesterday – I'll be logging over 5000 nautical miles this voyage. Sweet.
The ship is a ghost ship right now. There are around six hundred passengers here for the crossing, which means that there is more than one crew member per passenger at the moment. A couple hundred more will be joining us in Barbados (all Brits, lovely . . .) for the crossing, but that's still two days from now. We've cut the shows to one seating each since we're running at less than half capacity.
We had boat drill again today, hopefully our last boat drill in the Western Hemisphere. In case it gives you any idea where I am on the totem pole, my emergency number is 1169. This doesn't seem so bad until you realize that the command staff starts with number 100 (presumably the captain) and decreases in importance as the number gets larger, and that the crew only numbers 750ish people total . . .
Anyway, I'm off to get back to the ship for rehearsal – we have guest artists on board all week and so I'll be sight reading a show every night. It will be a welcome change.
